Boldly Go Solo

"Laycation." Is it an XXX-rated holiday? Or a tour of the greatest chicken coops around the world?

Yup, you guessed it. I'm back to make a little more fun of "staycations." As one person commented on my staycations post several days ago, "it's a lame term some publicist came up with."

That gave me an idea. Let's stop those "lame publicists" in their tracks! Shame them into ending the madness. We do this by coming up with "clever," yet ridiculous terms for different types of vacations. Then we copyright them so publicists can't use them without permission! Sound like a plan?

Let's do it alphabetically:

AAA-vacation. That's one where you head out with a triptik in hand and a 10 percent discount. 

Baycation. For those who are too timid to get into the ocean. (Have we got a timeshare for you!)

C-cation. (does it have to have the "ay" sound?) A break for people who didn't do all that well in school.

Daycation. 24 hours of whirlwind traveling.

EEEcation. A get-away for people with very wide feet.

Faycation. (Also known as a FayWraycation.) A retreat for King Kong fans.

Gaycation. A great escape for our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender friends.

Haycation. A farm tour.

I-cation. Anyone got anything for this? (A week off for optometrists?)

Jaycation. A wild time for University of Kansas sports fans. Or birdwatchers in general. (Although good luck finding a jayhawk)

K-cation. For fans of Chrysler.

Laycation. See opening sentence.

Maycation. A spring fling.

Naycation. Either for horse lovers or naysayers. Or both.

O-cation. An escape for Baltimore baseball fans when the season's gone downhill.

Paycation. A vacation that ended up being way too expensive.

Q-cation. Hm. For residents of Washington's Q Street? For fans of Broadway's Avenue Q? Not sure.

Raycation. You're totally going for the sun.

Saycation. For big talkers. Or, for those who begin every phrase something like this: "Say, isn't that a new hat?" Or, "Say, didn't we meet at that other convention?" Or, for those who sing the Star Spangled Banner a lot.

Taycation. Dunno. Ideas? (How about a getaway for fans of Porky in The Little Rascals, the one who would always say, "Otay.")

U-cation. A long-distance adventure involving a big orange rented truck full of your belongings.

Vacation. It is what it is!

Waycation. That's what Mike Myers takes. (No way. Way!)

X-cation. Oh, so many choices. X-men, Xboxes, X-rays. Whaddaya think we should do here?

Yaycation. For the terminably happy. Or cheerleaders on holiday.

Z-cation. For those who once owned a 280Z. Or currently own any other Z model car.

Uh oh. "Staycation" altered "vacation" by two opening letters. Who knows how many variations the publicists can come up with? Traycations. Flaycations. It could go on and on, couldn't it?

Sigh. Game not over. They'll beat us yet. Meanwhile, I hereby put in my vote for the most vile creation of a variation on vacation ever:

"Mancation." The worst. By far.