Boldly Go Solo

Solo travelers sometimes feel sorry for themselves. They look around and think everyone's luckier than they are. "Look at 'em. They're all paired up. Except for me. Waahhh."

Hey, plant this idea in your head instead. 

I was at a formal work dinner, chatting with a nice businessman, telling him about my blog. Don't know how it came up but it did.

When he heard about my traveling-alone adventures he looked wistful and said:

"I've been traveling with my wife for 40 years. Sometimes I wish I could travel alone. You take your house with you. You have the same arguments. I've argued with my wife every place we've been."

Arguing isn't the only issue. I was on an early morning shuttle van to the airport for a flight to Thailand, where I was going to meet up with a British friend. I was on my own, but only for the first 36 hours.

The van wound through downtown Washington on the way to Dulles Airport. The dawn light was illuminating the Washington Monument and the U.S. Capitol.

I caught myself smiling, thinking how, soon I'd be halfway around the world. Where most of the residents had only seen these sights on television. In 24 hours I'd be on their side of the planet, experiencing the land of Buddhas, wats and floating markets.

My reverie was interrupted by the conversation of the couple in front of me. Honey, I think it's beginning to rain… I didn't know a Home Depot had opened up there… I should bring my golf clubs in when we get home…

Nothing wrong with it. But tedious, tedious stuff. The stuff I might be talking about to a travel companion too. But travel is special.

I don't want to be dwelling on that stuff at the start of an adventure. Or during one. I don't want to find myself talking about my commute to work or a mutual friend or the mall. I want total lift-off.

Bye, bye, home. Hello, wonder and amazement. All travel, all the time. I want to be quiet if that suits me. Or connect with a new, interesting person, if I'm in the mood.

So, in the future, remember the husband who pines to travel alone for a change. Use it the next time you play the grass-is-greener game upon seeing a hand-holding couple.

You never know when their next disagreement might be, or their last disagreement was. Or if they're going to bicker instead of stand in awe in the sight of the Taj Mahal.

Don't assume their travel life is wonderful and yours is incomplete. Maybe they've traded loneliness for irritation. I've had tiffs with boyfriends, and with female friends, during vacations. Those memories are still strong. It's a lot of time together if it's just the two of you. It's not always easy.

Make the grass on your side as green as it can be, whichever way you're traveling. Your situation is what it is. Work with it.

Photos:

1. Ellen plays Queen of Sheba on Patong Beach, Thailand, getting braids and a henna tattoo, while the tattoo artist's daughter has fun in the sand.

2. Final glamor touch: manicure and pedicure with flowers, also received while sitting on a lounge chair on the beach on the Andaman Sea.