Boldly Go Solo

Is solo travel more liberating for Americans when they’re outside of the US?

October 29, 2009

I hadn't ever put my finger on this before, it struck me as I read this post: I prefer to travel solo in a foreign country than here in the United States. Why?

The
writer says that despite being fluent in the language and culture of her own country, it's more daunting traveling in the U.S. than in a foreign country.

Citizens of other countries are more welcoming, she believes. And "one often feels a stigma about finding oneself alone
here, as though all eyes are looking pityingly upon you."

Hm. Why
she feels a stigma here and not elsewhere may or may not have to do
with the U.S. That could be a perception issue.

She adds that solo travel is less liberating at home than it
is abroad. I agree with this although I think it's for several reasons she didn't mention.

Getting around in a country that's not your own presents obstacles. What does that shawl cost with the exchange rate? What exactly ARE Cornish pasties? What did that Greek man just say to me?

So many things present a challenge. So overcoming those challenges creates a major sense of accomplishment.

Going to a Starbucks in the U.S.? Ho hum. Going to a Starbucks in Madrid? (hey, it was on my way to my hotel one night and I craved a hot drink) That can be much more fun.

The cups are different. (Look at these silly small cups!) Ordering the drink is different. (Is it called an Americano here too?) The clientele is different. (Look at those Madridians drinking Starbucks!).

I can get absorbed just walking down the street reading store signs. At
home, I understand most of the words and I know what most of the
products are. But a tortilla press in a window? That's going to stop
me, as I ponder what it is and what it does.

I also like taking photos of unusual or funny looking words or products. And I often prefer to do that solo so I can take my time and dart here and there without dragging someone with me. Or making them wait if they're not interested. (So then, of course, I DON'T make them wait because that makes me feel uncomfortable. And then I don't do what I want to do.)

I guess more than anything, I'm interested in other cultures and how they do things differently. I don't find it daunting to travel solo in the U.S. I just don't always find it as intriguing.

Restful, beautiful, interesting and many other things. Just not quite as thrilling and intriguing as making my way through a foreign country alone.

Photo: Ellen Perlman. Plaza Mayor, Madrid.
Married woman pines to take back the past and travel solo when she could have

October 22, 2009

A recently married women wrote a piece for CNN.com about what she'd do differently in life if she had a "single do-over." That is, if she could relive her single life.

Number three: She'd travel more.

She held off while she was single. She'd hear about her coupled friends' vacations and swear she'd do similar trips. Some day. When she was in a good relationship.

She could have joined those friends. She could have put together a group of other single people and gone great places.

But she waited for the travel companion to come along. A vacation was only a good vacation if she could go coupled up. Finally she is married and has a built-in travel partner.

Regrets? Uh huh. "Why on earth did I think I
had to be in a relationship to take a great vacation?"

She now goes on great trips with her husband. But…

"Just thinking about all the solo trips — not to mention vacation flings —
I missed out on makes me a little sick. I'd definitely take a do-over
on this."

I know a guy like this. He had dreams of taking "romantic" vacations and great hiking adventures but didn't want to go alone. Those places, such as Hawaii or the Grand Canyon, were meant to be visited with a significant other, he believed.

Years passed. Now he's married. He'll get to do those trips. Or others he's dreamed of. If, that is, she wants to go to the same places. Perhaps she's got different dreams. Perhaps she wants him to go where she's always wanted to go.

There are only so many years to travel. You're the most free when it's just you.

And who knows what will happen in the future? One couple I know planned a great biking trip in Spain, only to have the wife's mother die unexpectedly. The couple arrived in Spain, had one day there, then had to fly back.

I have friends who like to travel who married spouses who didn't. Uh oh.

I have friends who like to travel but kids came along. Uh oh.

I'm just saying, there are a whole lot of places to visit and only so many years. And no guarantees. Go to your dream places while they still enchant.

And while it's still possible. And before you have to compromise on exactly how you'll do those trips.
San Juan de Dios Market in Guadalajara Mexico is a place for solo travelers

October 17, 2009

I visited San Juan de Dios market on the first day I arrived in Guadalajara. My Mexican "mother," Titi, with whom I was staying for five days, took me to on Sunday when most stalls were closed. I returned the next day, remembering the route she and I had walked from the IMAC school. She took me there by bus so I would know how to go to my Spanish lessons on Monday.

Whoo-ee. The San Juan de Dios market is an assault on the senses. Then you get used to its narrow aisles and vendors trying to call you over with "pasele" (come this way?) or "a sus ordenes" (at your service), hoping you'll check out their goods and buy something. Or many things.

You can enter and exit the place from all sides and through many doors. The aisles start at the sidewalk outside and continue through the market, in somewhat of a grid. But not always.

If you end up exiting on the other side you can always walk around the block to find where you started, or dive back in and try to make your way back the way you came.

It's easy to get lost but I was excited to see so many goods. That is, I was ready to spend money. But after a short while, it became clear there was little I was going to buy. The jewelry was not my style and and those key chains with the small bottles of tequila? Fun to see, but not necessarily to buy. Cowboy boots? Wallets? Raw beef? I wasn't in the market for any of those things.

There's a section of booths filled with prettily packaged sweets to sell. With names such as membrillo, cajeta de sayula, borrachitos finos and queso de tuna, which has nothing to do with the fish. Tuna in Spanish is the word for the fruit of the prickly pear cactus.

It's about the size of a kiwi, though a paler green. Nice and juicy, but with too many hard black seeds for my taste. I didn't try the candy version. I DID taste the kahlua, tequila, guayaba, coconut and chocolate flavors, however!

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Shopping solo in Tlaquepaque and Tonala in Mexico

October 10, 2009

Today I went with a group of travel writers to Tlaquepaque and Tonalá, two artisan villages in Jalisco, Mexico (the state that Guadalajara is in).

I find I have to separate myself from people to shop the way I want to. If fellow travelers want to chat or show me things they like, time flies too quickly and I've lost out in terms of seeing everything there is to see.

I prefer to wander at my own pace and hit as many places as I can possibly walk in and out of. Plus I like to practice my Spanish and not enter a store yakking in English with a fellow American.

The price of goods in the various stores, and those sold by street vendors, ranged from about $3 for beaded bracelets to $1,200 for a handbag and more.

In Tlaquepaque, there's a Sergio Bustamente store that sells some beautiful, expensive jewelry, art and leather goods. I'm sure those goods are even more expensive in the U.S.

In Tonalá, we went to a factory where they make painted paper mache items. A giraffe, for instance, that is almost life sized. Elephants, angels, suns.

And we went to a glass blowing place. And to a place where a family of many brothers makes ceramic plates from scratch, hand painting intricate patterns on them. Cost for a setting of four? $25,000 We asked if that was pesos. But he said dollars. Hm. Do people actually buy those? Not people I know…

Now, ready for the pronunciation of Tlaquepaque? Tlah kay PAH' kay. Not that hard, right? As for the Tonala link above, it's a YouTube video of what some of the shops sell. Photos next week when I'm back home.

Photos: Ellen Perlman

1. Sun, Sergio Bustamante gallery, Tlaquepaque, Mexico.

2. Giraffe, paper mache factory, Tonala, Mexico.

3. Hand made plate making, Tonala, Mexico.
Local foods in Guadalajara’s Corona Market in the city center

October 8, 2009

Yesterday, I said Guadalajara, Mexico, isn't a particularly pretty city. That said, many cities around the world have their rundown sections and unattractive blocks. A friend here at the school says it's really beautiful when you get a little above the city and see it as a whole.

More important, Guadalajara is alive and busy. I love walking down the city streets and seeing how the locals shop and eat. There are tons of stores selling material, thread, yarn and more. Someone's making a lot of clothes. My maestra here at school says it's not inidividuals making their own clothes (too busy) but people making clothes to sell.

Yesterday, I walked through El Mercado Corona right in the center and soaked up more of the food culture of Guadalajara.

Vendors sell cups of pomegranete seeds, huetlecoche-a mushroom-like fungus that grows on corn, a green drink that is made with pineapple and alfalfa (or so a Mexican compatriot from the school told me) and a powder called pinole made from corn, sugar and cinnamon. It's dry as dust. Something we might put in milk and mix up. But they eat it straight from the cup with a little spoon. It's really good! I bought a little bag to take home and probably need to go buy more.

There's something called menudo that is defined as giblets in my dictionary but looks like huge swaths of boiled chicken skin - that color anyway. My Mexican buddy told me it was from a cow but I'm not sure we always communicated perfectly. And there seemed to be two pig legs, same boiled color, in the big metal pail it was all sitting in.

I think it may be that soups and tacos are made from feet, tripe and all sorts of body parts from different animals. No thank you, not today. I've just eaten.

Upstairs were all sorts of stalls selling religious items. Snake skins (chopped up for some religious purpose or for health?), small statues of Jesus and the Virgin Mary, incense, candles, herbs and many other items for worship and health.

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Guadalajara food and sights

October 7, 2009

I don't even know where to begin. So much happens in a day let alone two. My mind races but I´ll never be able to spill all those thoughts. Today's try:

– Animals available for sale at the San Juan de Dios market downtown include parakeets, parrots, pigeons, chicks, guinea pigs (at least they don´t eat them here like they do in Ecuador), ducks, doves, you name it. Do that many people go to town and buy parakeets?

– Don't believe this is a Catholic country? My cab driver from the airport asked me if I believed in God. There are masses on the hour at a downtown church, from 8 am to 8 pm. For those of you who are number challenged, that's 12 masses a day. Food vendors set up around the local church on Sunday to cater to the people who attend. Religious items are available for sale many, many places.

Guadalajara isn't a particularly pretty city. The old section has some impressive sights – a cathedral, government buildings, the Plaza del Armas and more. But the stores and houses are stucco boxes and there's a lot of graffiti on the corrugated metal doors that cover stores when they're closed.

Most everything is run down, paint peeling. Food stalls have chairs and tables that look like they're from the 50's. Not imitation of the 50's style. But literally from the 50's. Formica tables. Metal and vinyl chairs. Flat, square buckets for salsa, onions, etc, that look like the kind you'd put your feet in to soothe them.

– I know I'm almost home from school after getting off my bus, route 629 #2, because after passing several birds-of-paradise plants, I see the rusting white limo with the flat front tire and the oranges littered around it from from the nearby tree.

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24 hours of solo travel in Guadalajara meeting many people

October 5, 2009

If ever there were an example of setting out solo but not being the least bit alone or lonely, my trip to Guadalajara is it.

Today was my first day of Spanish classes. The school is right in the center of town, within walking distance of the historic section. I'm living with a woman named Titi, her daughter Ani and her brother Luis, in a two-story house outside the city center.

I have my own set of keys. I take the bus 20 minutes to school. My "mother" as I've been calling my Mexican host (as opposed to "the woman I'm staying with") is a lovely woman who cooks me all my meals.

I told her today I wasn't likely to come home for lunch, because there is a language lab here and things to see in the city. So she packed me a sandwich with an apple and cookies!

She also told me to call her when I arrived at school. She had taken me on the bus on Sunday to show me the way to school and back but she wasn't sure I'd remember where to get off.

And because it's still dark here at 7 am, and I had to go to school an hour earlier the first day, she drove me the three blocks to the bus stop. A little more than 24 hours ago, I didn't know this woman.

Now she's treating me like she treats her own daughter. She worries about me. She cooks for me. Cleans my room. It's very sweet.

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Solo traveler in Guadalajara taking Spanish language classes and touring

October 4, 2009

I'm guessing that much of my blogging this week will be via Twitter, now located at the top right hand side of this page.

I didn't bring a computer to Guadalajara because I was told there would be computers I can use at my Spanish language school, IMAC, and at the hotel where I will end up on Thursday for a Society of American Travel Writers conference.

My host family has an email address which may or may not indicate a computer in the home. I'm arriving Sunday at around noon and will get the lay of the land then.

But don't forget to check back for stories from Mexico. In particular, Guadalajara, City of Roses and birth place of tequila and mariachi music. (Some people say you need the former to last very long listening to the latter but we'll see.)

I've heard mariachi in small doses and it's spirited and fun. If sometimes loud and conversation inhibiting, when it occurs at restaurant meals. But maybe that's an American thing.

Stay posted. And I'll try to keep posting, to make it worth your while.

Hasta pronto.

Elena
Solo traveler packs only carry on luggage for a 9-day trip to Mexico

October 3, 2009

Uh, that solo traveler would be me. I've given myself the challenge of sparing my bags from the hands of the airport suitcase tossers who frequently have routed my precious belongings to cities I have no intention of setting foot in. Not nice.

I bought my 21-inch bag last night. I'm leaving Sunday at 6 am. (Does
everyone operate like this or is it just me? This last minute thing, that is? I seem to work to deadline.)

The photos here show the difference between the bag (on the right) that would make packing easy versus the bag (on the left, in this season's hot fashion color – "plum") that all my stuff is now packed in, ready to depart from home at 4:30 am tomorrow. (ugh)

Why have I chosen to squeeze everything into one and a half bags (carry on and a "personal item") when I could have the luxury of packing and living large? In a 26" suitcase?

Saving the baggage fees ($15 each way on Continental) is one small reason, although it would actually be worth it to pay for the luxury of having someone else drag my stuff on and off the airplane.

What really convinced me is that I want my luggage there at the same time I am. Not two days later. (Madrid, a couple of years ago.) Not four days later. (The Netherlands, a few years before that. See post.)

No, I want that bag trailing right behind me like a dog that heels. As soon as I'm on the ground.

I don't want to have to wait, pathetically, while the luggage carousel
goes round and round while all the other passengers clear out and it becomes obvious there's nothing there for me. (Charleston, S.C. several years ago.) And there's no one to moan and complain to. Solo traveler, remember?

I want to have my PJ's for bedtime and a fresh set of clothes to change into in the morning. I want all my shoes. (Although I won't be able to take many in such a small bag).

I ended up having to buy a pair in Madrid while waiting for my bags to catch up with me.

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No more solo-only trips with Backroads but not to worry

September 29, 2009

Backroads, an "active travel company," is ending its singles and solos trips next year. The owners found that more of their solo travelers ended up on regular trips than on solo ones. There weren't getting enough people to make the singles and solo trips fun.

After doing some of Backroads solo trips years back, I realized I prefer a mixed group anyway. It's more relaxed. Less of that meet market feel.

Along with the change, the company has reduced the single room charges. Nice little benefit.

The part I like is where they say, "Just give us a call and we’ll help you find the departure with the most Singles+Solos, if that’s what you are looking for."

That's exactly what I did for my first major solo adventure, a rafting trip. I called Holiday Expeditions and asked them to find me a trip that other solo travelers had signed up for. I didn't want to be the only person traveling alone. I didn't need a LOT of solo travelers. Just some.

I ended up in a fivesome with one couple, one married guy traveling without his wife (she wasn't much of a rafter, he said), one single guy and me. We became tight as ticks. We hardly made make a move without one another. We simply enjoyed one another's company that much.

I would consider another trip with Backroads. I've taken three with the company. Biking in the Colorado Rockies, biking in the Canadian Rockies and biking and hiking in Bryce, Zion and the Grand Canyon.

They were all run well. And I wouldn't have gotten to those places without joining a group that was already going. None of my friends are that gung ho about biking to plan a week-long trip out West to do so.

And I did things I never expected, including biking 120 miles in one day. (Trust me, there was a lot of downhill. But the 80 mile-day uphill day it took to earn the downhill was a major killer.)

Backroads is not the only company that will provide the service of putting a group together and getting on the phone with you to discuss who is signed up for the trip. On the other hand, I would probably avoid a company that wouldn't be willing to share that information.

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