Boldly Go Solo

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Don't you just hate it when you're in a bar somewhere in Rome or Florence or Barcelona and you just can't think of how to say, in the native language, "I would love to, Handsome?" Or, "That shirt doesn't go with those pants?"

Yeah, me too!

That's why you might want to have a copy of "hide this book EXTREME." Yes, it's kind of an odd name. And it seems meant to appeal to teens and young adults who will learn "dirty words" and funky expressions that will make them laugh or maybe actually learn something.

However, it could be useful and amusing for adults too. We all learned in our school language classes how to say, "Where is the bank?" and "Which way to the Eiffel Tower/restaurant/center of town?

But who wouldn't want to know how to say, "There's no toilet paper?" Or understand clearly when the bartender says, "Tonight, beer is two for one?" Or have in their arsenal, "If you touch me one more time I'll break your face?" Especially solo travelers, on that last one!

So, in the first ever Boldly Go Solo contest, I am going to give away one book each in French, Spanish and Italian. Kindly provided to me gratis by the publisher of the books.

All you need to do to win is contribute a phrase or a story via email (above left, click on "About").

You can either tell me a phrase you wished you'd had while traveling, or one that you think might come in really handy or one that you mangled in the past to horrified looks from those around you. (Mine was "Yo tengo mierda." I MEANT to say, "Yo tengo mieda," which means, "I'm afraid," or literally, "I have fear." Instead, I said, "I have…um…excrement," to put it nicely.)

The other way to enter is submit a short, fun story of being on the road in a foreign country where the people did not speak English, and the hilarity that ensued because of the language barrier.

Or any great anecdote on something that happened to you in a bar or pub or tavern or restaurant, or heck, just about anywhere, while in a foreign country. Keep stories to a max of 500 words, please.

Winners will be chosen at random. Names of all those who enter will be placed in a hat. One entry for each story, or phrase, or phrase + story. And you may enter up to 10 times with any combination of phrases or stories. And yes, I'm making up these rules as we go along. As I mentioned, it's my first contest.

Deadline: February 15.

Also, by entering, you give me permission to publish your entries. (I'm willing to do so anonymously if you'd like. Just say so)

When entering, name which book you'd prefer: hide this french book EXTREME, hide this spanish book EXTREME or hide this italian book EXTREME. I'll divide up the entries that way. Feel free to enter the contest even if you don't want a book.

And now, a taste of a few other phrases from these books that might come in handy, and which you'll learn if you win or buy the book. Drawn from the books I now hold in my  hands. Which contain chapters such as Love and Dating; Gay and Lesbian; Internet, Go Green and Bad Language:

"Damn it's hot. It must be the greenhouse effect."

"He looks ridiculous."

"DJ Pepo is spinning tonight."

"My love, get comfortable, I'm going to give you a head to toe massage."

"They are ripping me off."

"If you give it to me for five euros I'll take it right now."

"I have to wash my hair."

"Oh crap, I forgot to bring my own shopping bag."

"Can we carpool in your hybrid?"

Good luck everyone! (Buena suerte a todo!)

To buy a book, click below:

Hide This Spanish Book Xtreme

Hide This French Book Xtreme (French and English Edition)

Hide This Italian Book Xtreme

Photo: Ellen Perlman