Boldly Go Solo

Reading about tonight’s total eclipse of the moon reminded me of an assignment I had several years ago. It was during the Leonid Meteor Shower of 2001.

I was in Niagara Falls doing a story for The Washington Post. At some ungodly hour, I dragged my sorry self out of a hotel bed. I wanted to catch a glimpse of what was supposed to be a spectacular light show. Coat over jammies, I got into my car and drove away from the city lights.

The sky was sodden with clouds. Not a star to be seen, let alone the fireworks of "falling stars" I would have experienced, if only I’d stayed home in clear-skied Washington. Oh well.

What it made me think of today was how alone I felt on that Canada trip. I experienced the power and the glory of the falls from the American side one day and the Canadian side the next. I got so close to the mist it made my hair curl.

All day long I reported the story. I talked to park rangers in New York. And viewed the gushing waters from underneath the falls in Canada. I drove up to Niagara-on-the-Lake and shopped in the cute little stores. I was content.

Come nighttime, however, I was lonesome. I was in a beautiful hotel, paid for by the newspaper, but it was isolating. I went out to dinner at a nice, busy Italian restaurant. But I was bored. I hadn’t remembered to bring something to read.

This whole blog is about the joys of traveling alone.
And I’ve said many times how much I like to set out alone. That doesn’t mean I don’t get lonely sometimes. That’s why I won’t travel on my own for a week’s vacation. Too much potential for that loneliness.

Instead, I make sure I have a way to connect with people. My usual M.O. is to join an active travel group. I
bike, hike, kayak and raft. I go to tennis camp and to horse ranches.

These trips provide a default community. The tour operators present me with a social network. I try to do this as cheaply as I can. Sometimes that’s hard. But it’s worth it.

I had a different experience traveling solo for work last week. I was in Fayetteville, Arkansas. I visited with Mayor Dan Coody and his sustainability director, John Coleman. For a story on green initiatives the city is undertaking.

The two nice hotels Coleman recommended were booked. So I stayed at
a bed and breakfast a block from City Hall. The first morning I was
alone at breakfast. The following day, the morning after Valentine’s Day, I had company.

Two couples. One pair looked to be in their 40’s or
50’s. They’d gotten married the night before! They had been an item for 14
years and they’d just moved back to a rural area of Arkansas from Las Vegas. So she could take care of her ailing mother.

In small towns, people talk. Yes, even these days. So they decided to
tie the knot and make it legit.

The other two happy campers were young’uns. Mid-20’s
max. Out for a romantic Valentine’s Day jaunt. I, in my reporter-like way, asked
a lot of questions over French toast and eggs. And was entertained for the whole meal by their stories. I didn’t feel the least bit isolated.

This recent experience has made me think twice about staying in expensive
hotels on business. It was cozy to be with people. And I’m sure
my company will enjoy the hefty per night savings.

This also seems like a good option for solo travelers who aren’t into the types of active trips I enjoy. By staying at a B&B, maybe you’ll get in some conversation with other guests.

Maybe it would turn into
an offer of company on some part of your journey. If nothing else, you have your B&B hosts to talk to every morning. Way less isolating than a quick hello from the front desk receptionist or concierge.

Photos: Ellen Perlman

1. Niagara Falls from Canada

2. Rainbow, bridge and mist – Niagara Falls from the U.S. side.