Boldly Go Solo

Ever study the faces of men lined up on Valentine’s Day to buy, last-minute of course, exorbitantly priced flowers or chocolate? Men suffer around Valentine’s Day. You KNOW they do.

For the longest time, the marketing folks aimed their PR guns solely at couples. Buy roses. Buy chocolate. Buy fuzzy pink bears. Buy, buy, buy.

Now, it seems, the marketing people have bonked their heads together and come up with this: Enticing singles to "celebrate" Valentine’s Day alone. Or with platonic friends. My first inkling of this came from the Cleveland paper’s travel blog.

Wait a minute. Valentine’s Day without a Valentine? Isn’t that like Mardi Gras without the booze, beads or parade? What’s the point? Single people don’t actually qualify for Valentine’s Day. You know what I’m saying?

Same way they don’t qualify for couples therapy on their own.
Same way most don’t qualify for Secretaries Day. Or Grandmother’s Day.

But now there are bed-and-breakfast promotions for single people. So they can go and celebrate a "Hallmark" holiday for couples. 

One B&B says bring your dog. (Will he split the bill?) Another
offers a "Breaking Up is Hard to Do, But I’ll Get Over Him" package for
you and a platonic friend. It includes two pints of Ben & Jerry’s
ice cream and a voodoo doll. (Why? So you can get fat and vicious in time for the next guy to come along?)

In essence, instead of getting a "surprise" of chocolate or roses on Valentine’s Day, you get the surprise later. When the credit card bill arrives. When you have to pay
for all the Valentine’s Day treats you bought yourself. Surprise!

Does anyone besides me see some silliness in this?
I got curious about what was being offered and went to the site
to look at the "Valentine’s for Singles" places. I called a
handful of them. And here’s the kicker. Three out of four of them
weren’t even offering a price break.

All they were doing was getting cutesy over the
"holiday," by including in the full price chocolate-covered strawberries or champagne or
dinner for one. All of which you, yourself and you are paying for.

One,
though, the Sully Mansion B&B Inn in New Orleans, offers 30 percent
off rooms, through February 20. "No Beau, No Biggie," is the
theme. Well, the heck with Valentine’s Day. If you were thinking of
going to New Orleans and the price looks right, take the discount. Let
them market it however they want. 

Valentine’s, Schmalentine’s. Just give me the deal.

Photos: Ellen Perlman. Chocolate Chocolate store, L Street, Washington, DC.